Color theory

It was a hectic moment in Kohl's. I could feel sweat forming under my arms and my hair was audibly crinkling out. Not a good sign. I had 70 minutes to help Lauren find a dress for confirmation (in 12 days).
The problem: apparently, all the other teenage girls who shop at Kohl's and Sears and Fashion Bug and TJ Maxx and Target (Jackson has limited choices) either 1) don't wear dresses at all or 2) like to show their backs, cleavages, and most of their thighs. Which may look fine on fashion models and beach scenes, but it is not quite so fine on my still-thirteen daughter on her CONFIRMATION DAY--you know, the one where she makes a public commitment to the teachings of the Lutheran church. Yeah, that sort of Confirmation.
Nothing worked in the junior section. Too trampy, too short, too small.
I knew she wouldn't be happy, but I moved into the dreaded MOM section of the store, thinking maybe the dresses there would provide more coverage. I found two cuties: black and black. Not too plunging in the neckline, cute little cap sleeves. But black. Is that okay for Confirmation? I wasn't too sure. It's like helping her choose a nice cherry red wedding dress. Not really the thing, I don't think.
So I called my infallible font of all knowledge and wisdom, Ilona. She assured me that black is classy and totally appropriate, not to mention more practical than white. I shoved the two black dresses in Lauren's skeptical hands and shooed her into the dressing room.
Did they look nice? Of course not. They looked like decorative black pillowcases. Horrible.
Then my stomach started to growl and we gave up.
We had other chores to do and other errands to run, and it looked like my weekend was going to be spent in an increasingly harrowing search for a suitable Confirmation dress in the appropriate color.
And then, as we were about to head home, we decided to try one more store. Let me say this: if you're looking for a dress, go to JCPenney. I am not lying. They have tons! Not just one or two racks--a whole flipping section!
We walked into the dressing room with maybe 10 dresses and came out with one. I won't tell you what color it is, but it's not black or white. It's pretty adorable, though, and I can't wait to watch my baby take this one step closer to adulthood. Hmm. Actually, when I put it that way, maybe I can wait. Maybe I should have gotten her the tights with the ruffles on the bum, just to remind both of us she's still my baby.