Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Career Opportunities on the Rise

I'm thinking I might be able to quit my job. I could make a whole lot more money (and grade ZERO papers) doing it too. Actually, I'm not sure about the money. I've looked around and can't find anyone else who offers the service I'm thinking of. But that could be a good thing. I'd be one of a kind. I could offer my exclusive services to the highest bidder. This is sounding better and better.

It all started about 1pm today with a nagging ache behind my right eye. At first I thought I was tired. But I tried to lie down and couldn't sleep. Chocolate didn't help; neither did a cool glass of water. And the ache grew and spread tentacles of pain up to my scalp and down around my ear. That's when I knew what this was: a barometric headache. I get one every time a storm approaches. The bigger the storm, the bigger the headache.

And even though I'm typing now through my pain (trying to ignore it), I can't help but feel a twinge of excitement. So here's my new career idea: psychic weather forecaster. Ever heard of one? I can use my pain to make money!

That's not such a novel idea, I realize. Think of the guys who walk across fire pits or swallow swords. Their pain brings in the money too. I could start small, maybe with a live feed on the internet--on this blog maybe! All I need is one of those little eyeball cameras...and a lot of time to sit in front of it reporting on the state of my head. I could give updates, maybe spend my non-headache hours making charts or those cool maps other forecasters use. I'll admit, my range of accuracy will probably be limited. I'm not traisping this head around the country in search of thunderstorms. So hopefully the locals will be financially inspired by my plight--inspired enough to send me money in gratitude for my storm forecasting headaches.

I have to say, the more I think about it, the more I realize I'm excited about the possibilities. Ooh, sharp twinge here; my vision just blanked out. I think the storm's getting close. I'm going to go try the chocolate remedy again.

4 comments:

jen said...

That was funny.
AND, not a bad idea. I have often thought about that same thing except with my knees (arthritis). But obviously, I have not given it near the thought you have!
I can only imagine that Clint would be like, OK! Whatever you want!
Do I have that part wrong?

Kir said...

Hmm, uh, yeah! He kinda likes the steady income idea. Whatever.

Ron Samul said...

I thought the sharp twinge would have made you shut down the computer before the big storm hit. I thought this was great... how about a non-fiction book titled "Pain for Profit: The Ultimate Show and Tell." Start with Ben Franklin getting struck by lightening and finish with some of the guys from that show "Jack Ass" - let me know if you need a field reporter - it would be a fun project!

gretch said...

well, i'd say that if you were the adventuristic type to go ahead. but i'm going to stick with my gut on this one and say that your steady income is handy and more reasonable for yah. (Oui!)